Pappu & Nauty have their breakfast together in a not so crowded cafeteria. As their names wouldn’t suggest, Pappu is naughty and Nauty is, well, pappu. Pappu can’t stop talking about any she who’s a five or above. Nauty is just happy to humor Pappu. At some rare occasions, Nauty would try to ogle a she, but Pappu would outrightly dismiss her saying she’s only two and a half.
Pappu’s rating scheme is very tough to score on. He himself is seven, or he thinks he is. What are the ratings based on, he doesn’t know. He just knows a number pops up when he sees. And so it was to happen, one day, a gal walked past them both, Nauty gazed in awe, Pappu put both hands down on the table and claimed, “now that’s what I call a six”. What???? He wanted to say a perfect ten, but then why a six? Even Nauty raised eyebrows on Pappu’s sacred ratings. But a man (or a kid) of his word, Pappu was to maintain that she was indeed a six.
As destiny (now that’s some heavy stuff) would have it, they saw the gal the next day, and the next day, and the next. Finally when it was well over a week, Pappu declared he had a thing for Chhaggi. He had to come up with this name when Nauty wouldn’t stop teasing him with ‘Chhakki… Chhakki’, hard enough as it was to believe that even Nauty could tease, and that too over a gal, huh.
Pappu had never had any issues with ‘how to approach’ with shes who were seven or below, but to score a perfect ten was a different game altogether. It required sheer dedication. But as destiny (why does it keep coming) would have it, he spotted her sitting alone one day. Without a moment’s delay, he marched straight to her and froze when he got there. Nothing was coming to his mind, try harder as he did, “well… will you..” , oh she’s so stunning…. “ahem… will you have a cuppa coffee with me” (HOW LAME!!! Of course she wouldn’t.. ). “What’s the occasion”, asked the gal. Oh she’s speaking, she speaks as well, trying even harder, (tell her it’s your b’day, your friends’, the world’s coming to an end, you’re from future and this cuppa coffee will decide the course of the future….tell her…. something), “How about I let it remain a mystery”, said Pappu finally. (AHH so now a gal will have a mysterious cuppa coffee with a total stranger….what a way to lose). “Thanks… but sorry”, the gal’s reply.
The rejection raised Pappu’s spirit beyond horizons. From then on, he would stare at the gal unashamedly, and with time, would get an unequally cold stare in response. ‘You never get a second chance to make the first impression’ read Pappu somewhere. But Pappu was ready to create that second chance, if only to…… Well it’s better to go down fighting than surrender, and so Pappu was getting ready for the final assault. And as the destiny (this culprit has its bloody hands all over it..huh) would have it, the gal disappeared. And Pappu was, well…. frustrated, for the starters.
After a week’s time, when Pappu could take it no more, he approached the gal’s friend. “Hey.. I am Pappu, I want to talk to you about a gal you usually have breakfast with”. “What gal..”, asked the friend with a genuine smile. “I think you know what gal”, Pappu insisted. “Yea, I know what gal”, with this answer the friend’s smile turned wicked (or Pappu must have been imagining). “I’ve been meaning to talk to her, but I’ve not seen her for a week now….”, quizzed Pappu. “Oh.. she’s coming late these days”, replied the friend, looking very concerned suddenly. His question answered, Pappu was about to turn with some satisfaction when the friend said, “may be she’s busy shopping with her husband” and left.
“I told you earlier, she had that air about her. I told you that her parents must be doing the talks of her marriage”, Nauty tried to provide some cold consolation. “C’mon man, that’s so ridiculous, how can you look at her and possibly say she’s married. We’ve been noticing her for over two months, no evidence, nothing, nothing that would say she’s…”, Pappu wanted to laugh at himself, though laughter was not even in a mile’s vicinity.
Pappu saw her again. She was in a short skirt. ‘Now a married gal won’t wear that to her office, would she?’ Pappu wanted to go to her but as the destiny (enough is enough) would have it, Nauty’s manager joined them at the breakfast table.
Pappu spotted her the next day. But he hesitated. Nauty couldn’t fathom. ‘What if she really is’ … ‘well fine.. you’ll get over it’ .. ‘will I..’ ‘of course you will… what a pussy’.
At last, Pappu got up, took those fifteen (yes he counted) steps to her table, ignored her friend and asked, “May I join you?” “Yea….sure…”, said she as if she was expecting it. “Did your friend tell you….” Pappu was about to complete when the gal interrupted, “why don’t you tell me”. Oh she’s a beauty.
“Well… as you must have noticed that I notice you… not notice… but look at you.. in a particular way.. Oh you couldn’t possibly be married”, Pappu couldn’t resist the dreaded words. “Well I am..”, replied the gal to clear the air once and for all. Pappu finally got the better of his nerve and continued, “Do you know how hard it is to believe that the gal, oh sorry, woman I’ve come to like and almost dreamt about is married. I still can’t believe I fell for a married lady. It far exceeds even my reputation.”
“It’s okay, happens. I don’t look married… well I’d take that as a compliment. But look, I like you, had I not been married I’d have approached you and only goodness knows what would have happened had you been married”, justified the gal with a care only gals are capable of exhibiting. “Well.. I’ll be okay.. even though it still is shocking. If I’ve been thinking about you, you deserve to know that”, now words were sailing smoothly for Pappu. “I am glad you kept the embarrassment at bay and approached me, kind of cute. I’ll see you” thus ended the conversation with the gal’s words.
Pappu got over her quicker than he had thought. And today Pappu saw the same gal. That inch long red sindoor, that long mangalsootra hanging around her neck, and her saree, every cell of hers screaming, “get it…. I’m married”. And Pappu realized, ‘she is not that good, definitely not a ten, seven may be, but six is more appropriate’.